高校生の英作文と添削

携帯電話の良い点と悪い点を書きなさい。

塾生の書いた解答と訂正英文です。

英作文を勉強中の中学高校生は、参考にしてください。

高2生の解答(1)

Cellular phones are convenient tool. We can communicate with someone everywhere by using them. These days, the number of public phones is decreasing, so cellular phones will be more essential than before. In addition, they have global positioning systems. They are useful to know where the user is. By using them, for example, mother can know where her child is, and she can feel relieved when her child is late.

 On the other hand, I think cellular phones, especially, smartphones, have too many functions such as internet, game and so on. Too many functions make users more dependent on cellular phones. Because we can use them anytime and anywhere, we cannot separate from them. In fact, dependence on cellular phones is a serious social problem.

 Cellular phones are very convenient. However, it depends on how to use whether they are beneficial or harmful.

添削と加筆後の英文

Cellular phones are convenient tools.

 We can communicate with people everywhere. In modern society, the number of public phones is decreasing, and so mobile phones are getting more essential in daily lives. In addition to talking to others in distant places, we can use GPS, say, global positioning systems with latest mobile phones, for example. They are useful to know where users are walking in real time. A mother can locate where her daughter or son is walking or playing when she or he has not yet reached home, because of which she can feel relieved.

 In contrast to advantageous aspects above, there are disadvantageous features, too. In cell phones, smartphones especially have too many functions, such as Net access and games, which can cause users to be far more dependent on cellular phones. As we find time to use them anytime and anywhere, we cannot separate from them. Therefore, cellular phone dependence, or cell phone addiction is a serious social problem in modern society.

 Cellular phones are very convenient. When we use them in the wrong way, though, we can face difficult circumstances. It depends on the way to use them whether they are beneficial or harmful to us.

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高2生の解答(2)

Cellular phones have both good points and bad points. I fact, cellular phones are very useful. For example, we can search what we want to know everywhere. Also, thanks to cellular phones, it became possible to contact with people easily.

On the other hand, when we have cellular phones, we have to be careful of management of personal information. If we use them be wrong way, we may be trouble. Furthermore, these days, addiction of smartphone is a serious problem. As especially smartphones emit a lot of blue lights, using smartphones too much damage to our eyes.

In conclusion, I think cellular phones are great as far as we use them correctly. Though opportunities which we use them will increase, we have to be careful of the way to use.

添削と加筆後の英文

Cellular phones have both good and bad points.

The beneficial aspects are that, for example; they are very useful to acquire information we want to know and also in order to easily contact other people, even if one is far from another.

Also, nowadays, there are a lot of solitary people in cities that can avoid spending sparing time alone for various reasons, including work and study. Gadgets can help them to exchange information in order for one another to feel a little bit happy. There are virtual characters on the web, which people can access to pursue enjoyment or kill time, too.

The less beneficial aspects are that, for example; when we are using our cellular phones, we have to be careful with the management of personal information. If we use them in a wrong way, we may get in trouble. Besides, smartphone addiction is a serious problem in the modern society. Lastly, A lot of blue light emit by these modern gadgets can give a serious damage to our eyes.

In conclusion, cellular phones can be useful and great when we appropriately use them. The more opportunities we have to use them, the more careful we have to be with the proper way of using them.

 

 

 

 

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